Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
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I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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