i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
