Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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