I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
No subtext here. People are naked.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
