I wish I only lived at night.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
