Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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