I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize