Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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