i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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