I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My dad is sitting where you rode me
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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