So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
