Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
