You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
