how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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