'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
