I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
