I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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