Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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