This is not my ceiling
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
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