i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
im about as happy as oj after his trial
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
