I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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