He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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