Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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