I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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