This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
