So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
