Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
