remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
