I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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