Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
