why didn't you poke me back
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot