We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
