Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
My vagina just clenched in fear
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
