Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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