I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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