Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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