Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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