he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Buhtt sex?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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