You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
