Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
