She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
