Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
