youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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