i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
