rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
