Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
