living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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