4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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