Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My liver just broke up with me...
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
