I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I could fuck to npr.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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