So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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