ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
