My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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