You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
