Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
