Buhtt sex?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
