Are we in a gay sports bar?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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