You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
