Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
