I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
