I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I queefed so loud it echoed.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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