im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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