Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
