Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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